The Crab Basket Chronicles: Why I Used to Be That Person

Ketika teman saya dapat promosi tahun lalu, reaksi pertama saya bukanlah "Congratulations!" Nggak. Yang pertama kali muncul di pikiran saya was: "Seriously? Him? Padahal gue yang lebih qualified..."

I paused mid-thought, horrified at myself. When did I become that person?

Malamnya, saya teringat video yang pernah saya tonton tentang crabs in a bucket. You know the story, right? Ketika satu kepiting tries to escape, yang lainnya will literally drag it back down. No crab escapes because they're all too busy pulling each other down instead of helping each other climb out.

Sitting there dengan guilt yang uncomfortable banget, I realized: I had become the crab.

The Mirror Moment That Changed Everything

Growing up, I always thought of myself as supportive friend. The cheerleader. The one who celebrates other people's wins. But when I really examined my reactions to other people's success—especially yang close to my age, my industry, my social circle—the truth was uncomfortable.

There was always this tiny voice. "Lucky them." "They probably had connections." "Wait till reality hits them." "I could've done that better if I had their opportunities."

Sound familiar? Because here's what I've learned: almost everyone has this voice. Some people just get better at recognizing it and choosing not to listen.

Why We Become Crabs (And It's Not Because We're Evil)

Crab mentality isn't about being a bad person. It's about feeling scared, insecure, dan overwhelmed by this narrative that success is scarce—like there's only limited seats di first class of life's airplane.

I grew up dengan mindset yang zero-sum: if someone else wins, that means less winning left for me. Scholarships, job opportunities, recognition—semuanya felt like pie yang gets smaller every time someone else takes a slice.

Social media made it worse. Instagram success highlights, LinkedIn humble brags, WhatsApp groups where everyone shares their achievements. Suddenly everyone's life looked better than mine, dan instead of being inspired, I became defensive.

The breaking point came during a startup event. Saya listened to this 25-year-old founder talking about their Series A funding, dan instead of learning from their journey, I spent the entire time mentally listing reasons why they didn't deserve it.

Driving home that night, I realized: I was spending more energy tearing down other people's success than building my own.

The Uncomfortable Truth About My Crab Days

Here's what crab mentality actually cost me, dan I'm sharing this because maybe it costs you too:

Energy drain. Instead of focusing on my own growth, I was obsessed dengan other people's wins and losses. Do you know how exhausting it is to maintain scorecards for everyone else's life?

Relationship damage. People can sense when you're not genuinely happy for them. Yang tadinya close friends slowly became distant because my congratulations felt forced, my support felt fake.

Missed opportunities. Some of my best career breaks came through people I initially felt competitive with. When you're busy pulling people down, you miss the chance untuk climb up together.

Self-sabotage. The energy I spent analyzing why others succeeded could've been used untuk actually working on my own success. Ironic, right?

Breaking Free: My Anti-Crab Rehabilitation Program

The first step was admitting I had a problem. Dan honestly, it felt like therapy. "Hi, my name is [Name], and I sometimes feel threatened by other people's success."

Then I started what I call my "Daily Celebration Practice." Every day, I forced myself to genuinely celebrate someone else's win. Not just liking their post, but actually reaching out dengan personal message.

At first, it felt fake as hell. "Congratulations on your promotion!" internal eye roll

But here's the weird thing—after a few weeks, something shifted. Celebrating others started feeling... good? Like, genuinely good. Their success stopped feeling like my failure.

The Plot Twist: Success Isn't Actually Limited

Remember that pie analogy I mentioned? Total bullshit.

Success isn't pie. It's more like a YouTube algorithm—the more good content exists, the more people consume content in general. One person's success often creates opportunities untuk others.

That friend who got promoted? Six months later, he referred me untuk a better position at his new company. The startup founder I was secretly judging? We ended up collaborating on a project yang opened doors I never knew existed.

When people succeed, they create ripple effects. They build networks, generate opportunities, prove that certain paths are possible. But you only benefit from those ripples if you're swimming with them, not fighting against them.

The Ladder Builder's Playbook

Now, instead of being the crab yang pulls people down, I try to be what I call a "ladder builder." Here's how:

Genuine curiosity over comparison. When someone shares good news, instead of thinking "Why not me?", I ask "How did you do it?" The shift from comparison to learning changes everything.

Amplify others' wins. Share their achievements, introduce them to your network, make their success visible. What goes around, comes around—but even if it doesn't, it feels better than the alternative.

Reframe the narrative. Their success proves possibility. If they can do it, maybe I can too—with their wisdom and experience as guidance.

Focus on your own journey. This sounds cliché, but it's true: you can't drive your car while constantly checking other people's speedometers. Eyes on your own road.

The Beautiful Irony

Here's the kicker—the moment I stopped competing dengan everyone around me, I started actually winning. Not because I stopped caring about success, but because I started focusing my energy on building instead of blocking.

My relationships improved. My work got better. Opportunities appeared. It's almost like the universe rewards people who root for others instead of rooting against them.

The Daily Choice

Every day, we choose between being crabs atau ladder builders. Ketika you see someone's promotion announcement, startup funding news, atau achievement post—that split second before you react is your choice point.

You can think: "Must be nice..." or "How can I learn from this?"

You can feel: resentment or inspiration.

You can choose: to pull down or lift up.

The beautiful thing is, once you start building ladders untuk other people, you'll find that somehow, you've built one for yourself too.

Success, it turns out, isn't about escaping the bucket alone. It's about turning the whole bucket into a launching pad.

"The best way to ensure your own success is to make sure the people around you succeed too."

What kind of person do you want to be in someone else's success story?